I'm futless again...

My GF and I had a little bit of friction lately. In a way, I don't blame her...she's been stressed out a lot with work, studying for a U.S. nursing exam, the possibility of moving somewhere entirely new, and a possible wedding.

Meanwhile, here I am in my usual oblivious self because I didn't understand something and I think that rubbed her the wrong way. I probably poked and prodded a bit too much and I pushed her to the edge. At this point I guess I just gotta give her some space.

I think this will be a challenge, my GF and I come from different cultures. While I grew up in a Chinese household, what I imagined to be a very cultural upbringing turns out that my parents gave us a very whitewashed version of it already.

Mom grew up in Hong Kong, but my grandparents set a standard to do everything as westernized as possible. So it makes sense that mom carried that standard down to her kids, so much so that she almost thinks some of those traditions back in the Hong Kong are "old fashioned" and maybe a little silly.

Anyway, it looks like I'll have to self-teach myself a lot of cultural sensitivity...as I'll soon have to deal with a lot of this if we're to really wed. When I really consider it, the traditions of the East and West are almost polar opposites. We're essentially encouraged to break off from those before us, and find our own paths in life. That's almost the epitamy of what we would think freedom means to each of us -- We question authority. I think that's our tradition...it's deeper then just Thanksgiving turkey and popping 4th of July fireworks those are just ceremonies.

In the East it's almost insulting to not respect the wishes and traditions of your elders. I remember as kids mom and dad would take me to eat with our relatives and there was a very strict code that we couldn't even sit at the dining table till the eldest family members sit down first. Hands off on the chopsticks till everyone older then me gets something first! OH that was torture!!! Nothing worse then sitting at a big table full of delicious peking duck and by the time it gets to you all you get is the last little crusty burnt piece.

The point is that those in the East define a lot of things by these traditions because it's practical in their viewpoint that the people before you are supposed to know better then you. So you don't question if these traditions make sense or not, you just do it.

Some of these old traditions might not make sense to me. But I'll just have to buck up and do it if I'm to make this work.

Yikes! Who knows....I've yet to make the official proposal to her, so she could still tell me "NO WAY JOSE!" when I ask. (There goes my cultural sensitivity right there).