Funkitudinessness

So I've been a little futless again these past couple weeks over work.

Once again I can't place it. It's not actually "slow" but, but I'm not producing at a pace that I want. I have a couple of web projects that are sitting in limbo waiting on my clients. It's cool that they've paid me portions of the project, and they're entitled to take it at a pace they want, but eventually frustrations at having things left open on my plate are getting to me. It's nice psychologically to get things DONE so I can feel like I can concentrate on marketing for more projects and I can celebrate the progression. Lately I haven't been able to do either.

Parts of my feeling could be me. I notice it's perfectly natural for other people to say "Business is a bit slow right now." I can't accept that yet. When it's not running full steam with a million things for me to do on a given day my mind wanders and I find I do things less efficiently. I don't think I'm a workaholic...I would much rather sit on a beach taking a nap then working, but there's security to be found knowing there's always something ahead of me to do is comforting albeit stressful.

That's the part about being self-employed that I find to be an interesting effect. I'm sure it treats people differently...but if you have my character type, you're always going to have that nagging voice in the back of your mind "How's business doing?" "What do you have lined up?" "Where are you going to pay for XXXX?" It's annoying...it's like I have my own boss that I can't shut up. Am I becoming schizo?

I have proposals out there... a few of them are fence sitting right now. Feedback on these proposal seem positive, but they aren't saying yes or no. Once again it's limbo.

So I've been in a little bit of a funkitude. I'm sure I'll eventually get over it. Kind of like exercising there are periods every now and again that are bad periods....I just work through it patiently and eventually it picks up again and I progress forward. Gotta just keep kicking myself in the ass. I need to print my "NO FUCKING AROUND" signs bigger in my apartment.