SERENITY NOW!!!!

I'm in a bit of a panic lately guys. I don't know if this is what you call an anxiety attack? Maybe not that bad yet, I think I usually deal with pressure pretty good. I just focus and do it. But if you were to interrupt me during this period you're going to hear it all. My mother called me late one night in the middle of one of these panic attacks and WHAM...I started talking like a mile a minute and my voice went up a pitch just like a bad Jerry Seinfeld impression.

"Oh my god ma I got this to do and that to do and yadda yadda yadda. I don't know if I can do this and that and this and that....AAAAAAHHH!"

I think it's just the culmination of everything coming down to this now. I'm at the grand finale. This is the month we've been expecting and planning for 2 years. The question is...did I do enough?

I got a big wedding coming up with is drastically going to change my life. I got the wedding itself to worry about. Is everything going to go as planned? Did I think of everything on this side so my fiancee won't give me the evil eye for forgetting something important?

Then I got my business itself. Can I get all these projects done in time before I leave? Did I notify everyone I need to notify that I'm going to be gone? Did I line up enough projects to do once I come back from my wedding? Did I earn enough so that I can absorb not working for the 4 weeks I'm gone? Did I arrange to have all my bills paid?

WHOA! Yeah so it's just been hitting me pretty hard these past couple weeks and I'm trying very hard not to stress out too much but I can't help it sometimes. I know by the time the day arrives and I'm actually seated on the airplane going to Hong Kong, I'll be fine. Because at that point there's nothing I can do and I'm just going to deal with it. But these last 2 weeks leading up to that day is killing me. I'm not getting much sleep, and any waking hours I have I'm just working my butt off. Sometimes this anxiety attack, or whatever you might call it, gets so bad my hands start shaking and I'm constantly pace back and forth across my apartment trying to think of all the things I need to do. Serenity now.

I'm eating poorly I'm ashamed to say. I haven't had the chance to go grocery shopping lately so it's been a diet of drive through fast food for the last week or two. I'm kind of sick of it and a little embarrassed to be rolling up in front of the same drive through person night after night. I can see it in her face "Oh you again?" There's few things more humiliating then a drive-through person starting to recognize you as a frequent customer.

Hey I've been getting salads as much as I can ok? I watched "Super Size Me" I'm trying to avoid turning into a slob before my wedding.

Ho boy, my life is far from dull this year. Pray for me!