Why am I doing this?

Do I love what I do? I mean, it's not so much the design business, but do I like running my own business and being self-employed?

I have to ask myself this every once in a while. Especially in times where I might not be drawing in as much money as I'd like, days where I'm working from 6am in the morning till midnight, days where I might have had a difficult customer who flips out on me for something they disagreed with, days where I just simply don't want to work.

If I had to do this all over again, would I?

I think the answer that's come back to me time and time again is simply, "Yes". Despite all the hard work, despite the uncertainty in income, despite all the pressures.... being in control of my own destiny and seeing the direct fruits of my own labor is a feeling that nobody can understand until they've tried to run their own business.

The joy of being self-employed isn't just a money thing. Yes, that's obviously a key thing...if I don't make money doing what I do, why do it in the first place? But personal rewards come from so many places when you have your own business... things you might not expect:

I'm SO proud of the fact I can see my own ads in the yellow pages...
I got so happy seeing my little box of Anniversary cards printed up...
Being able to pass out my little business cards to people in my weekly meetings...
Spending money to buy new a new computer or software for the business...
Heck even to some sick degree...being able to pay my taxes free and clear gives me some satisfaction...

Why? Why does spending money back into my business give me so much satisfaction? I must put back over 50% of my income back into my business. I think it's just simply because I can. Being able to do all this under my own effort & sweat makes it feel good. "Wow, I did all that...I met those challenges head on and I tackled it!"

I think I notice a commonality between business owners I see week to week in my meetings...versus people who just go about a routine working for an employer. It's almost like a little secret "wink" those of us self-employed people can give each other, "I understand! Keep on doing what you do!"

I won't downplay the advantages of being employed by someone else though. God it would be nice to have my weekends back to goof off. It would be fantastic to have regular 2 week intervals between checks again. No accounting work...what a dream!