Kingston is back home again. Aside from the big gash across the top of his head and the weak hand that he has to work on….he looks as if he no worse off for wear. It’s a pretty surreal feeling for me….having seen him just 26 days ago lying on a giant adult sized ICU bed with IVs on every limb and a breathing tube stuffed down his throat. When we went out for a bite to eat last night, we looked very much like a normal family again, and I had almost a weird urge to tell folks that it was almost a miracle we were even there at all. I can almost relate to soldiers who come back from a harrowing experience during a war and how they must feel so bizarre coming back home and just seeing everyone go about business as usual?

In any case, he’s home, he’s happy…..and we’ll deal with whatever comes next.

Kingston’s doing very well from a neurological standpoint. He’s walking on his own, albeit very weak and wobbly still. He’s eating and talking. He’s doing age-appropriate tasks. His weak right arm is showing little signs of improvement each day.

He’s got a fever that’s coming from a mystery source to doctors right now, which is preventing him from coming home still. All we can do is stay by his side and trust in the docs to try figure out the issue. From a parent’s perspective, anytime they draw blood, stick another tube down his nose, submit him to xrays, and generally cause him new discomfort feels a bit like adding salt to the wound, but what can you do?

This ordeal has definitely made my hair turn blue.

There’s a lot of buzz in recent months about “crowd-sourcing” design. Some companies are making big bucks on providing a service that allows what they call “communities” to submit logos in the hopes of getting a cash reward. This isn’t new of course, it’s basically the same thing as doing a design contest, or what we’d call speculative work. I may have discussed this issue here once or twice.

Here’s a great article written up by a design group that had their logo plagiarized dozens of times by people who submitted derivative artwork in the hopes of winning a design contest.

To new, upcoming designers…I understand the thrill of possibly getting some recognition by submitting your work on these things. But if you’re serious about getting into this profession, you have to think about your own role in protecting the very career you’re heading towards. Your raw talent, your training, your software and hardware, and the future well-being of your clients, are all worth more than what little you get awarded from these things.

One of the perks about teaching a college course in new media is that you get to use the latest software. Well, there’s no choice really, you HAVE to learn the latest thing otherwise the students you have lose out on the experience.

About a couple months back the latest Adobe Creative Suite software came out for CS5. As is typical of every upgrade season, it sets you back a few hundred bucks if you’re upgrading, or nearly a couple grand if you’re purchasing it all for the first time. And as usual, designers like me have to weigh the options of investing in the upgrade…are the changes worth the price of upgrade?  I know very well-established design colleagues who are still using CS2.

It’s still a crazy thing to keep up with….this year it might be all this software, next year it’ll be time to upgrade all the hardware. Kids…you want to do this type of business all legit?  This is where you’ll be sinking all your money.

ANYWAY, I guess since the new Fall semester starts next week, I better sit my arse down these next few days and familiarize myself with the new GUI and features. Nothing more embarrassing than sitting down in front of a class and not being able to find that one feature that’s been moved to another menu.

There’s a good set of tutorials over at Layers Magazine to check out all the programs and the new features they have. I guess the rest of my day will be staring at tutorials…

One thing I discovered about having my own business in the midst of a personal crisis — the advantage of being my own boss allowed me to respond to my son’s situation really quick. From the time I got the call he was hurt till I was standing there next to the ambulance by his side wasn’t more than 4 minutes. Precious minutes I’m glad I gave my child so that he had the chance to be saved.

However, the one bad side about having my own business in the midst of a personal emergency — I’m screwed if I don’t work. Unlike my wife who has family medical leave while dealing with this situation, all my work sits there waiting for me unless I sit my ass down here and do something. My clients can only wait so long…

It’s been hard to concentrate. But there’s nothing to do about it but to just force myself to do what I need to do. Otherwise Kingston’s upcoming hospital bills will probably be another big concern in the near future.

Must….endure.

On that note, for those of you who may be following along with the situation, Kingston’s condition improves day by day. He’s got most of his IVs pulled out already (poor little guy has bruises and scabs all over his hands and feet where they poked him), and he’s been off of sedation for a few days now. Mom washed his hair a couple times so it doesn’t look like nappy dreads.

He’s generally in a good mood….even laughs and requests his favorite movie all the time. Of course, nurse visits where they have to take samples, swab his nose, & check his temperature, always makes him fussy again.  He’s been fighting a fever between 100F – 102F these past couple days but otherwise doesn’t act like he’s that sick.

He’s getting there….I want to thank any of you out there who have been so kind to offer your thoughts and prayers for the little one.

What’s a guy to do at the hospital when he’s not trying to calm a scared child, soothe a protective mom, apologize to insulted doctors, dodge attending nurses, explain to anxious grandparents, and direct visiting guests?

Why he’s admiring the hospital’s logo that’s all. I haven’t found out who designed this logo yet, but it’s been one of my local favorites for a few years now. Beautifully done in my opinion…I like how the artist treated the clear Hawaiian features of this family with such grace.

Kingston’s now off his breathing tube and they’ve let the sedatives wear out. He’s doing well so far — he recognizes us, he calls out “Caaars” to his favorite movie, and is generally doing ok. I’m relieved and happy of how he’s doing so far, but many more concerns are still there….perhaps it may be years before I get rid of these feelings?  His right arm is still the only limb where we haven’t seen as much movement as we’d like….we’ve seen it react and move here and there, but the rarity of it is such that it’s almost like catching sight of the Loch Ness monster “There look it moved, did you see that?”  “No…..”

I’m reminding myself it’s still early. I’m not expecting him to bound out of bed and resume daily life just yet for sure. I cling to hope. Meanwhile it’s still good seeing my boy looking around and enjoying some of his favorite things. The gratitude I feel towards his doctors and nurses, friends and family who have offered their help and support…..is immeasurable.

One day at a time.

Well, my boy Kingston is still in intensive care. It’s hard to really put things to words….so many things have happened over the last few days that it’s an informational and emotional overload. If you watch the twitter feed over to the right hand side here, you’d probably have seen a flurry of posts I’ve made about my boy’s progress along the way.

What happened is still a little bit of a mystery and I’ve been advised to stay tight lipped about it for now. But suffice to say Kingston got a head injury while in someone else’s supervision. I’ve had a mixture of want-to-throwup feelings of grief sometimes….and then feelings of wanting to hit someone in anger the next minute. It’s been a rough few days.

As far as Kingston’s progress….well, he’s suffered what’s considered severe trauma and then a major brain surgery. It sounds scary just saying it. Sometimes I go about the day thinking he just got a little boo-boo and will be fine….but when you actually vocalize all he’s gone through, it’s mind shattering & depressing. We came *this* close to losing him.

He’s not out of the woods yet, but each day that passes is another day the doctors feel more assured. They’re watching him around the clock and so far all his tests and numbers are doing “as well as can be expected”. All I can do as a father is keep my spirits up when I can and hope for the best…one day this incident will be all behind us and I can joke with Kingston about how he finally gave dad the opportunity to ride in the front seat of an ambulance.

I miss my boy’s smile.  Can’t wait till I can see it again and feel that the universe is whole again…

My little boy Kingston fell down at the park today and sustained a head injury. Internal bleeding….had to rush him to ER and he had major surgery. Touch and go right now….   I’m a wreck.

To my friends and clients, of course I ask you for your prayers. I haven’t forgotten about those of you with active projects, but I hope you would allow me a few days to deal with this situation.

I’m feeling a little bit of a loss of confidence today. Long time readers will probably recognize this happens to me once in a while. Who knows what triggers this feeling….I might see another designer do some great work that I wish I did? I might have done work that I wasn’t too happy with? I might have lost a bid on a contract I really wanted? Who knows…it just happens from time to time. I hear it occurs a lot for folks who work alone. It’s one of the hazards of doing my own business I suppose.

What to do? I dunno really, time heals. You wait long enough the feeling goes away and the next successful project comes along and the confidence comes back.

Taking a break helps. Get outdoors, see some gorgeous weather or spot some truly inspirational movie poster and then you feel the spark again.

Sitting with other creatives helps. It might be a rare occasion when you can meet another freelancer, but when that opportunity comes up to share horror stories or even commiserate together, you don’t feel so alone anymore.

When all else fails, a nice big bowl of ice cream and some time sitting behind a game of God of War helps.