{"id":1335,"date":"2009-02-17T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-18T02:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/?p=1335"},"modified":"2009-02-17T16:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-18T02:00:00","slug":"fatherhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/fatherhood\/","title":{"rendered":"Fatherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"

I keep getting asked, “How’s fatherhood?”<\/p>\n

Here’s some of the experiences I’ve found so far in this first month…let’s see:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You get absolutely no attention from the get-go.\u00a0 I think right from the hospital fathers get a sign of what’s to come.\u00a0 They feed the baby and bring full meals for the mom.\u00a0 Meanwhile dad sits on the side and just stares at them eat.<\/li>\n
  2. Right now, my house is full of gifts for the little one, and even some for the mom.\u00a0 Dad?\u00a0 I’m here on standby to help carry the gifts for them.<\/li>\n
  3. The baby is doing fine. But he’s nothing but a pooping machine right now. When he’s sleeping, he’s an angel.\u00a0 When he’s awake, he’s a little growling Hulk.\u00a0 Dad can try jumping around, making all the goofiest faces he can, buy all the fanciest toys he can find right now, and STILL, the little guy would prefer sleeping in mom’s arms.<\/li>\n
  4. Keeping a baby happy is a bit like having the world’s most sophisticated Tamagotchi<\/a> without any manuals.\u00a0 One time he was crying so inconsolably I couldn’t get him to stop no matter every which way I flipped him over.\u00a0 Mom picked him up and figured “oh he just probably has gas”.\u00a0 Sure enough, he rips a couple of loud ones and then the house is quiet again.\u00a0 WTF!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Sigh.\u00a0 That’s alright, I’ve had this period documented. Kingston, one day I’ll get my payback on this period.\u00a0 Bwaaahahahaha.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I keep getting asked, “How’s fatherhood?” Here’s some of the experiences I’ve found so far in this first month…let’s see: You get absolutely no attention from the get-go.\u00a0 I think right from the hospital fathers get a sign of what’s to come.\u00a0 They feed the baby and bring full meals for the mom.\u00a0 Meanwhile dad […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[155,87],"class_list":["post-1335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","tag-fatherhood","tag-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1335"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1336,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335\/revisions\/1336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/raphaellowe.com\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}