I ran into a former student last week who was graduating and heading off to an art academy in the Mainland. She was a little nervous about it. I offered her some encouragement to reach for the stars.
It got me thinking about what advice I’d like to give Kingston one day as he starts encountering issues in his lifetime. I guess God willing, I’ll be around to impart my own wisdom to him in his adult years, but just in case…it’s probably not a bad idea to start listing some ideas down isn’t it?
I’m no Mahatma Ghandi, so forgive me if these aren’t grand illuminating advice for the ages, but just some ideas from father to son:
- Pick up an instrument. Any instrument. Some of my greatest moments in life were behind the strings of my bass guitar. Some of my best friends were forged during these times, & a big part of my current social and mental development was due to the exercise of my creative/musical mind. Everything is a balance, I spent 17 years of my life developing my academic mind, and the last 20 years after developing my creative mind. I don’t think I’d be who I am now without both.
- Wait to have a kid. Love ’em as much as you will, I’m SO thankful I waited till I was ready. Because raising a child is the HARDEST job I’ve ever done. Second-to-none. You think you know how hard it will be because of all the stories you hear, but it’s another thing to actually experience it.
- Take a chance, move outside of your comfort zone. If I had one regret in life (I usually try not to regret much), I’d say not having taken the chance to go to college in the Mainland is one of those. Broaden the mind…at the very least, if it sucks, you’ll appreciate home that much more.
- Don’t worry about the jerks you might meet in school. Chances are you’ll NEVER see them again once you graduate. With the exception that you might see some of their mug shots on a DUI page or overhear that they’re behind bars.
- Don’t worry about that girl who got away. She got away for a reason. Somewhere around a corner you’ll least expect is the woman who will make you wonder what you ever saw of all the other ones.
- For every low point you have, expect to have an equal high. For every ball-busting, tear-jerking, lung-busting low I’ve ever felt, I’ve later experienced an equally….umm…ball-lifting high that came along after. I just had to wait long enough for it.
- Travel often. And I’m not talking about a short hop to Vegas either. Visit places where they don’t even talk your language. Witness for yourself how people make the best of life wherever they are. Do you think America is the best country in the world? Great…but make sure you find out for yourself.
- Budget. Save. Spend wisely. Learn this one from your mom.
- Prove them wrong. If someone expects very little of you, prove them wrong. I once had a upper-level college English professor single me out in a class all semester long. Called me a failure because I came to class with ripped jeans and a mohawk. He mentioned he hardly gave anyone above a “C” and I wasn’t even going to get that. Come the final, I read ONE sentence from his required reading and wrote a 10-page paper analyzing the shit out of it. Last day of class he caught me outside of his class and practically begged me to take another one of his classes. I was given the only “A” in his class that semester. I either proved that he was full of shit…or that I was the most accomplished bullshitter ever. Either way, I walked away that much more confident.
- No job is a bad job. Whether you’re working the register at McDonalds, or volunteering at the local hospital, don’t look at your paycheck (or lack thereof) as the only thing that matters. My ability to hustle was given to me during my time doing fast food. My ability to make a sale was learned during my time doing retail. My ability to run my business was observed while watching my bosses build up a startup company from one tiny office to a multi-million dollar corporation. I didn’t come away from any of these jobs being rich, but each one is giving me that much more potential to succeed.
- Don’t burn bridges. You never know when someone you treat bad/good today might be the one who’ll get you that dream goal you’ll want 10 years from now. This is ESPECIALLY true if you’re going to stay here on this tiny rock called Hawaii.
- Make good friends. It took me a while to realize it, but I now know that a good friend isn’t someone you need to see very often, exchange a lot of gifts, or even share the same interests…but when shit hits the fan, these friends will drop everything to show up. You’d be happier than any material thing you can buy to have just one of these friends, let alone more than one.
- Know at least 2 languages. Without my 2nd language, I may not have had you…