Posted by on Feb 17, 2009 in Rants | 0 comments

I keep getting asked, “How’s fatherhood?”

Here’s some of the experiences I’ve found so far in this first month…let’s see:

  1. You get absolutely no attention from the get-go.  I think right from the hospital fathers get a sign of what’s to come.  They feed the baby and bring full meals for the mom.  Meanwhile dad sits on the side and just stares at them eat.
  2. Right now, my house is full of gifts for the little one, and even some for the mom.  Dad?  I’m here on standby to help carry the gifts for them.
  3. The baby is doing fine. But he’s nothing but a pooping machine right now. When he’s sleeping, he’s an angel.  When he’s awake, he’s a little growling Hulk.  Dad can try jumping around, making all the goofiest faces he can, buy all the fanciest toys he can find right now, and STILL, the little guy would prefer sleeping in mom’s arms.
  4. Keeping a baby happy is a bit like having the world’s most sophisticated Tamagotchi without any manuals.  One time he was crying so inconsolably I couldn’t get him to stop no matter every which way I flipped him over.  Mom picked him up and figured “oh he just probably has gas”.  Sure enough, he rips a couple of loud ones and then the house is quiet again.  WTF!

Sigh.  That’s alright, I’ve had this period documented. Kingston, one day I’ll get my payback on this period.  Bwaaahahahaha.